When your toddler hates getting dressed, it can make mornings a nightmare for both you and your little one.
As frustrating as it may be, it’s important to understand that this is a common phase many toddlers go through.
As a mom of 2, and a Developmental Therapist who has been working in early intervention for over 10 years, I have had lots of experience with this sometimes tricky routine.
Luckily, there are some strategies you can try to make the process smoother.
End the Power Struggle with Choices
Firstly, let your child have some control over the situation.
When we tell them what to do by saying something like “It’s time to put on your shirt,” it can create a power struggle.
When we offer a choice such as, “Do you want to wear your purple pants or pink pants,” we invite them to participate in this routine instead of just telling them what to do.
By offering two choices that are both acceptable to you, they can make a decision while still knowing there are limits.
This will give them a sense of independence and help them feel more in control.
It is also a great way to work on language development as it gives your child the opportunity to communicate in a low-pressure way.
If they do not have words yet, watch their cues!
Which item do they look at, point to, or vocalize at?
When you look for opportunities like this to build learning into daily routines your little one gets lots of repetitive practice!
Use a Morning Routine Checklist
Is your child showing signs that they want to be more independent?
It is part of toddler development for them to want to do things on their own as a way to learn new skills.
If your child absolutely refuses to do anything you tell them, you may want to try telling them in a different way.
Using a morning checklist (this is the one I used with my kids) acts as a visual support that they can use instead of us telling them consistently what task is next.
This was a game changer for my daughter as she was able to see exactly what she had to do and was so proud when she completed each task!
Have Fun and be Playful When Putting on Clothing
When logic isn’t working…it is time to speak your child’s language which is fun!
But that sounds like a lot of work…Shouldn’t they just be able to listen to me and get dressed?
My kids are now 5 and 7 and we no longer have struggles of getting dressed in the morning, so yes the time will come when they learn the skills and will be able to get dressed pretty much without any assistance.
When my kids were toddlers though, they would fight this routine and I had to get creative when it came down to it.
My daughter loved playing the game, “The Getting Dressed Robot.”
I would use a robot voice and say things like, “When getting dressed, socks go on our hands.”
She would giggle and laugh and tell the robot the right way to put on clothes.
Did you know that toddlers LOVE to tell adults what to do?
Instead of just getting through the power struggle it became routine that she was excited about and there was no more fighting!
By making getting dressed into a game you can help turn this morning battle into an enjoyable experience for both of you.
Plan Extra Time in the Morning
When we don’t plan enough time in our routines, simple things like getting our child dressed become more challenging.
We start feeling frustrated because our children are not moving fast enough…when really that is on us…not them!
Do what you can the night before in order to make sure that you don’t have to rush your child as they get dressed in the morning.
Some things that you can do to make your morning routine go smoother is:
– Lay out clothes the night before
– Prep breakfast the night before
– Have all items needed for getting ready (brush, comb, shoes) in one place
By having a plan and sticking to it, you can make sure that your toddler has enough time to get dressed without feeling rushed.
Add Music to Your Morning Routine
Adding music to your morning routine can make the process of getting dressed much more enjoyable.
Playing some upbeat tunes while you are both getting dressed can help create a positive atmosphere that is fun and inviting.
Your child will start associating this type of music with getting ready in the morning and it may even become something they look forward to!
Stay Calm and Take a Deep Breath!
One thing I wished I would have known as a parent when I was going through the struggles of getting a child dressed is that someday they will be able to do it…pretty much on their own!
My kids are now 5 and 7 and putting clothing on in the mornings or getting pajamas on at night is no longer a fight.
If you are feeling frustrated about this know that it will get better and do your best to stay calm and regulated!
The more upset you get the more upset your child will get causing a frustrating morning for everyone.
I Hope Getting Dressed in the Morning is Easier for You!
It can be hard to stay patient when your toddler hates getting dressed, but it’s important to remember that this is a common phase and will eventually pass.
By giving them some control over the situation, making it into a game, planning extra time in the morning, and adding music to your routine you can make mornings much smoother.
Above all else though, try to stay calm and take deep breaths to not escalate any tension between you both.
With these strategies in mind and consistency on your part, hopefully, those dreaded morning tantrums will soon become a thing of the past!
Frequently Asked Questions
By offering your child some control over the situation, making it into a game, planning extra time in the morning, and adding music to your routine you can make mornings much smoother. Above all else though, try to stay calm and take deep breaths so as not to escalate any tension between you both.
It’s important to remember that this is a common phase many toddlers go through and will eventually pass. It may be because they lack control over the situation or simply because mornings can be hard for them. Try to make getting dressed into a fun activity by adding music and games to help create a positive atmosphere.
Yes, having a consistent routine and setting boundaries can help with this. Also, get curious about why they may be doing this. Are the clothes uncomfortable? Are they too hot? Maybe they just want to practice the skill of undressing. If that is the case let them play dress up with clothes during the day can help them explore their curiosity.
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Kayla O’Neill has a master’s degree in education as well as a bachelor’s degree in special education with an emphasis in early childhood education. She has been working as a developmental therapist with babies and toddlers in early intervention since 2012. She is also a mom with two young children.