501 Days

501 days ago I first saw the face of my beautiful baby boy and heard his infant cry.  His little eyes just opening enough to get the first glimpse of his world and all that surrounded him.  I fed him, rocked him all day, bathed him, carried him, stared at him for hours, loved him, and told myself I would never forget a moment of it.

Today he is laughing, walking, talking, smiling, pointing, eating, and seeing the world through clear eyes.  Today I still help feed him, rock him at bedtime, watch him play in the tub, carry him when he is tired, chase him for hours, and love him.  I am still hoping that I won’t forget the way he smells or exactly what he sounds like when he says, “mama.”

501 days from now my little boy will be even more grown up.  I am sure he will be running, singing, playing, building, and exploring the world.  I don’t know if I will still be helping him eat, rocking him to sleep, carrying him, and he will probably be to busy to let me stare at him for hours.  I know that I will still love him.  I am sure I will be trying to memorize all the new moments he makes me smile.

What I have learned in the past 501 days is that I will forget things, and memories will fade.  He will continue to learn new things and progress into a little person that I have not met yet.  He won’t need as much help as he becomes independent.  Although I sometimes miss the days when I could just hold him and breath him in, I would not trade them in for the days I have now when I can see the excitement in his eyes from simple things like pushing the garage door button or sticking his tiny hand under the faucet to feel warm water.

In the last 501 days he has taught me that the most important thing is to live for the moment not the past or future.  He doesn’t care what is going to happen tomorrow or in an hour. He doesn’t stay stuck in the past wondering if he made the right choice or  if he could have done something differently.  He can be angry with me one moment but forgives me and hugs me the next.  He doesn’t care what other people think about him and he judges no one.  He lives in the moment which is the only way to truly live. He has taught me that living without fear leads to great things like walking, running, or writing your own story.  I don’t think I have ever learned from someone so much in 501 days.

If you ever feel down, stuck, confused, or don’t know what to do next than just stop.  Stop and watch your little one and learn from how they live.  You will be surprised what you can learn in 501 days.

About Kayla ONeill

This is me and my beautiful bouncing baby boy! Before my little guy arrived I earned a Bachelor's degree in Special Education Birth to 21 as well as my Masters in Education. For six years I worked as an Early Interventionist serving children and families from birth to age three before becoming a stay at home mom to be with my son.

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